the distance
by harkinian
Summary: Post "Bloodline." Lincoln talks to Altlivia after she gives birth. The new divide between them hurts. Oneshot.


I love the Lincoln x Altlivia pairing. It's so tragically beautiful. :') I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Fringe and its execs and brilliant writers in any way.

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><p>Lincoln has never liked hospitals…ever. Not when he was a little boy, visiting his brother George, who had been dying from a disease that could so easily be cured today, and not <em>now<em> as he walks towards Olivia's room to see her for the first time since…well.

His hesitation stems from the fact that he doesn't know what she'll say, how she'll react to what he had told her. Those three words, "I love you," that he had locked way, now free. As he places his hand on the doorknob to her room, he winces, remembering the look on her face. It was one of surprise. Shock. Then something close to relief, but that could've just been an expression simply imagined by his distressed mind.

Still, he can't bring himself to regret what he said. Not one bit, he thinks as he opens the door.

Olivia is sitting up in bed, holding her newborn son close to her. She looks up as Lincoln enters.

"Hi," she says, a wide smile forming on her face. She gives him a small wave before turning back to her baby.

"Hey." Lincoln approaches her bed and stands there for an awkward moment before she notices and gestures for him to sit.

When he finally does, he asks about the little boy's name.

She shrugs. "I don't know yet, but I'm kind of leaning towards naming him…_Lincoln_." She chuckles while he grins.

"Seriously?" he asks. "That's going to put a lot of pressure on him."

"Ah yes," Olivia replies. "He'll have to be perfect, right?"

"Right." Silence falls over them as Olivia strokes the tiny tuft of hair on her son's head. Lincoln wants to do the same but resists. The moment is not his.

Eventually, he calls her name.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

His words catch in his throat as he meets her green gaze. Glowing in all her maternal glory, she radiates that which caused him to fall in the first place, and Lincoln is seized with the desire to tell her again that he loves her. Instead, he says, "I've put you on maternity leave."

"Oh? For how long?"

"As long as you want." He watches as her eyes widen.

"Lincoln…I can't do that," she says. "I can't just disappear for as long as I want. You guys need me. I need to work."

Lincoln shakes his head. "We can make do without you, Liv. All I care about is that my best agent…my best friend…gets to spend as much time as she needs to take care of herself and her newborn son."

Olivia's lips twitch upwards. "But who's going to save your ass the next time you get stuck in the gap between the washer and the dryer in Mrs. Robinson's laundry room?"

"Hey, now…let's play fair," Lincoln answers with a small smile. "I'm sure Charlie will be glad to take over that duty. I can hear the teasing already…"

Olivia laughs a deep, throaty laugh. "So can I! Oh, God, I want to be there to see it."

"You will be," he says. "When you're ready to come back, whenever that is."

She sighs. "Alright then, boss." She touches her son's cheek before adding, "Oh, and Lincoln...? Thank you. Really. For everything."

"Any…anytime, Liv." He watches her make silly faces at her son for a while, pretending to be just as interested in the baby as she is. But inside, all he can hear are the words they are not speaking on account of the child being there, ensnaring all of Olivia's attention. Lincoln has to admit to himself that it is pretty selfish of him to think this way, but he is past the point of caring. He has loved her, all of her, for so long now….And she is never going to love him in return. There is no room in Olivia Dunham's heart for Lincoln Lee, not when it is already occupied by a son…and, probably, the son's father.

Realizing this, an enormous wave of something he doesn't like to think about suddenly crashes over him. He orders himself to leave before he loses himself in disappointment and grief. Lincoln stands up, mumbles, "I've gotta go," and is about to walk away when he feels a hand touch his forearm.

"Wait, Lincoln…about what you said that night…" She looks up at him, sincerity brimming in her eyes. "I…I'd understand if it was a heat of the moment thing. What you said. I just…don't want things to be awkward between us. We're friends." She nods for emphasis. "And we'll always be friends."

Lincoln looks down at the floor. _Heat of the moment_. Heat of the moment? That moment had contained no heat whatsoever. His blood had run cold when he believed he had lost her. And even now, every time he recalls that moment, his still breaks out into a sweat.

And friends…friends. She wants to be friends. _Friends_. He runs a hand through his hair before finally looking at her hand, then directly into the green eyes fixed intently on his face.

"Liv…" he says in a quiet voice, thick with words threatening to destroy their friendship. "Sure. Sure, we're friends. But…about what I said….It wasn't a heat of the moment thing. Not for me." His heart rate speeds up as her grip on his arm slackens. He can feel the distance already.

"I'm sorry," he continues. "Not for loving you, but for…for telling you and making everything confusing." He removes her hand gently before walking towards the door. She says his name several times, each time with increasing urgency, and he wants to glance back at her. But he doesn't. If he had, he would've seen that same look of surprise as before on her face. Tinged, quite possibly, with regret.


End file.
